Man Arrested at Large Hadron Collider, Claims He is from the Future

LHC Tunnel

Picture of LHC Tunnel.
Photo by Mario Alemi.

I am sorry — ha,ha — have to post this — to help me keep from laughing.

Eloi Cole, who claimed he reversed time to appear now in an attempt to prevent the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland from destroying the world, has been arrested at the facility.

According to c|net, “Mr. Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his ‘time machine power unit,’ a device that resembled a kitchen blender.”

When arrested and asked where he comes from, Mr. Cole replied: “Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I’m here to stop it ever happening.”

The arrestee was taken to a mental facility, from which he later escaped.